Living or Pancakes?

Pamplona, Espana – In an ever increasing litigious society, many thrill seekers are trying to find a replacement for the Running of the Bulls.  Every year in Pamplona, hundreds dare to ‘run with the bulls’ to accomplish a feat of unbridled idiocy unmatched except in the U.S. Congress.

Recently, the mayor of Pamplona, Yoland Barcina, who fires a rocket each year to signal the race to begin, set out to discover a more amiable beast to run with the citizens of Spain in the deranged ritual, ‘The Basset Hound was the obvious choice.  When you consider the Basset Hound body shape and the lack of horns, hooves, and angry territorialism, it is easy to see that the dogs will not gore anyone to death like bulls do.’ Mayor Barcina said Saturday.  Mayor Barcina went on to point out, ‘Bulls have horns, hooves, and weigh over a kilo, and that’s big and scary!’

Little is known how the public will respond to the Basset Hounds, because the top speed of a bull is about 40 kmph, with the Basset Hound’s is 5 kmph.  Furthermore, officials are worried because it is a bit difficult to get the hounds to run more than 40 feet without wheezing and suffering from cardiac arrest.