Living or Pancakes?

On Thursday February 4, 2010, my family and I made our way to San Antonio.  This was for work as well as some time for family to hang out, see the Alamo, and eat on the Riverwalk.  Upon coming into the final freeway merger, we came up to a fresh auto accident which consisted of a single car rolled over on its side – on fire.

I immediately jumped out of our car, while the man in the car in front of me, led the way to the overturned sedan.  As I approached on foot, I asked, ‘Is anyone in there?’  The man looked at me and said, ‘I think so…’  Bewildered by this statement, I screamed at him, ‘Let’s get them out!’

After checking the first couple of doors, locked.  Then I checked the back passenger-side door, and discovered it was unlocked.  I pulled it open, and smoke rushed out into my face and the San Antonio night sky.  Two young women were screaming for help to get out of the car.  I grabbed the first by the arm and pulled her out, after which, she collapsed fainting on the pavement.  I stuck my head into the smokey car and asked, ‘Is anyone else in here?’  The second woman, shouted, ‘Yes, I’m still in here!’

I yelled for her to grab my arm and get out right away.  She was limping and struggled to the guard rail to rest as her friend was passed out with emergency vehicles on the way.  My wife, back in our car with our son, called the emergency medical dispatch and personnel were deployed.  We got back in our Toyota and drove to our hotel.

The thing that strikes me about this incident is that I am surrounded by people in burning cars everyday, and I do nothing.  It is so easy for me to somehow see the present need of people in a physical burning car, but I ashamedly cower at the opportunity to help those in the spiritual burning car of sin and death.  I don’t run, ask questions, extend my hand, or offer my assistance to people struggling in an inevitable death.  My hope is that the Lord would use this event in my life to awaken my senses to those around me each day perishing without Christ.  That I would ask the world, ‘Is there anyone left who needs saving?’

Before we begin the night in Kids’ Village, the leaders gather in a room to pray and discuss the night’s theme and lesson. Invariably it is announced who will be teaching the large group lesson. Each and every time it is my turn, the lesson can be summed up by saying, “Tonight’s lesson is about Jesus.”

It is easy to slip into teaching children about God. This word “G-O-D” carries weight and connotations that can be misleading when considering the truth of what is really going on. Let’s make a conscious effort not to leave God as a nebulous figure in the heavens who may be aloof or as some person who simply spun the worlds into existence and remains outside. Please tell your children about God, but also be specific and tell them about JESUS.

Jesus is the center of the universe, the high king of everything. He is our atoning sacrifice, the first born from among the dead, the promise of resurrection, the Lamb of God and the lion of Judah. He commands the world from the right hand of God, ruling with perfect wisdom and unmatched kindness. He has become flesh and dwelt among us, and to all those who believed in him, he gave them the right to become children of God. He is the most important thing your mind will think about and the sweetest name your lips will utter.

Jesus meets His disciples, who were perplexed by the events of his death and resurrection, and He answers their quandaries by showing from Moses and the prophets all the things concerning himself (Luke 24). He is the God of the Old Testament – the whole story is about Him.

We are Christ-centered people. He is the image of the invisible God; he is the incarnate second person of the Triune God. He is co-existent and co-eternal with the Father. Jesus is God. The entirety of life ought to be centered in the gospel of Jesus bringing salvation by grace through faith and establishing the ultimate everlasting kingdom of God. It is not enough to speak of a generic “G-O-D” emptied into a philosophical point similar to mere theism or worse deism. Instead, fully embrace the Christian story of God who became man and speak that man’s name to your children over and over. That at the name of JESUS every knee will bow.

It is striking to me that the first instance of the term ’sin’ being used in Scripture is a noun.  Furthermore, when the term is expressed more and more, it is a noun the majority of the time.  This is striking to me, because I was raised in a culture that depicted sin as an action or verb.  The American evangelical culture has historically identified (at least in practice) sin as this thing we do.  However, the biblical evidence is set against that thought.

Genesis 4.6 – 7

The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted?  And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.”

This first instance of sin being labeled as a noun is from the mouth of God.  The Lord said to Cain that sin is this personified thing that wants to eat him for lunch.  Now when this is settled into our minds, I believe it is easy to see why Paul’s struggles with sin in Romans 6 – 8 are battle oriented.  He is waging war with a person – SIN.  This gluttonous monster lurks about for human flesh to own the body and enslave the members to its bidding.  This heinous anomaly to the perfect world God created has invaded the imago dei (image of God) and corrupted it and subjected it to toil and shame.  We must identify sin for what it is, a living, breathing, scheming slavemaster.  Only then can it be defeated by the cross of Christ and only then can sin finally be mortified.

Hebrews 1.1 – 2

Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world.

As we examine the Scriptures, we would be wise to notice that the author of Hebrews begins with identifying the sources God used in history to reveal himself.  Through prophets and in many other ways he revealed himself to mankind.  However, in these last days, these final days of history, this new world of post-incarnation, he has spoken to us through his Son.  Jesus is the final piece of God’s revelation, and is the ultimate barer of God’s self-disclosure.  He is God in flesh and the culmination of God’s love to his people.  Jesus is the most important, most beautiful, and greatest thing our minds will ever conceive.  All things hold together by the word of his power and the Scriptures, unequivocally point to him as their ultimate subject.  In short, it is all about Jesus.

I think back on how the week began with my birthday (Monday), we wake up, my son eats his breakfast, its the first workday of the new year, planning, staging, forecasting and hopes fill the conversations with work wondering what 2010 will bring.

Around 11:32 am on Monday January 4, 2010, my wife has the conversation with her father that would re-shape our outlook on 2010. Her mother had be diagnosed with a terminal illness.  The tears fell, prayers were lifted, and the people most dear to us were there to lean on. As the week progressed, and we discovered more with second opinions, test, and prognoses, we felt the weight of eternity and the brevity of life pressing in from all around.

Throughout the week, the 2010 ambitious plans and aspirations fell by the wayside knowing that life is too short for forecasting years from now, when we are not promised tomorrow.  These words from the Preacher rang so true to me this week as I pridefully predicted my days on earth.

Ecclesiastes 1.1-2

The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem.  Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity.

The vanity he speaks of is the word ‘vapor’. Vapor of vapors, all is vapor.  Life, the world, the universe are all passing vapors and nothing can be done to slow down the brief flicker of life we have.  The natural thing is to despair and lose hope thinking that all is lost, if all is vapor, but think of how this same book of Ecclesiastes ends:

Ecclesiastes 12.13

The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.

The whole duty of life is to fear God and keep his commandments, so that everything does not have to be vapor.  The life we lead can be one of eternal significance as we work for our eternal king, whose kingdom is eternal, and will stretch to eternity.  All power, all praise, all glory, all dominion is to him.  These are not vaporous, these are not fleeting.  When faced with eternity and the vapor of life this week, I was struck to realize that it is TO HIM and FOR HIM I live and move and breath, and any other thing for which I am living is a vapor.

To the king alone who was pierced for me, be all my life’s praise, worship, adoration, and service, for he will be my inheritance.

Today at my church, I had the opportunity to give my pastor a hug and listen to him preach.  Pastor Matt Chandler spoke quite poignantly about the reality of sanctification as a pursuit of the Lord.  With the same fervor with which our desperately depraved members sought sinful indulgence, that same energy is now to be directed at holiness.  This is a confrontational passage for me each time I read and hear it.

The idea that we are slaves to sin while alien from God is a vivid picture.  This is the best way sin is described, since the beginning when Cain is questioned by the Lord in Genesis 4.  Sin is this personified thing that is trying to enslave and take control over us.  It wants to own me (Genesis 4.7).  BUT NOW….  We are able to live to Christ because we have died to sin.  A dead man has been released from the enslavement of sin, or as Paul says it, “For one who has died has been set free from sin.  Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.  We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him.  For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God.  So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 6.7-11)

We get this privileged opportunity to look back at the former self, grit our teeth, and say, “You’re dead to me!”  That old man has been crucified in the cross of Christ and now the new self lives to Christ.  Let us unite in word and deed to put to death the old self, with its lusts and passions, knowing that Christ has killed that old self, and made us a new creation in his resurrection.

Lately, meaning the last couple of years, I have had the opportunity to be in a successful job, industry, and seemingly unending opportunities clamoring for my attention.  I have been able to invest, see profits, grow in wealth, and increase the things that ‘really’ matter – or so we are told.  I have good car(s), nice house, stay-at-home wife, healthy child, burgeoning business, slew of friends (at least on FaceBook), adequate retirement, and in the race to gain it all, I have become consumed….by it all.

In the quest to make plans and forecast earnings, profits, investments, and income, I have slipped into a worship of stuff.  Not that I am whole-heartedly pursuing it as full-blown idolatry, but I do value these stuffs too much.  In looking at 2010, I have been making plans, arrangements, and expecting the stuff of the world to abound in my life, but recently with the death of friends’ family, awful diagnoses, and heartache, I have been quickened by the holy spirit to recall the parable the Lord taught.

Luke 12.16 – 20

And he told them a parable, saying, “The land of a rich man produced plentifully, and he thought to himself, ‘What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?’ And he said, ‘I will do this: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.’ But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.”

I have been behaving like this man.  My barns have grown to capacity and have sought to build bigger edifices to my own pride and temples for my goods, all the while the Lord, in his mercy, has awakened my heart and asked, ‘Are you rich towards me?’ This striking question has me enveloped in sadness.  The sadness that only comes through a contrite heart when convicted of sin.  There is no trinket, knick knack, or woozit, that is not the possession of Christ.  His hand rules it all, and there is nothing to which he is not sovereign.

I am grateful that the Lord saw fit to be merciful to me to make sure that I am growing in richness toward him – holiness, gentleness, humility, patience, discipline, and a deeper understanding of the gospel.  Thankfully, the Lord Jesus through his spirit has bellowed to me, ‘FOOL!’ so that I may resurrect my affections to him, and be found eagerly investing in his kingdom.

To him is due all glory, power, dominion, honor, AND money, homes, children, cars, IRAs, and my breath for ever and ever. Amen.

Every year, people all around the world make new years resolutions.  These thoughts and aspirations are directly tied to the things they wish to stop doing (most the time) – stop smoking, stop eating bad, stop being lazy, and so on.  Each year I am reminded of Jonathan Edwards’s resolutions.  These resolutions are intense and convicting, with the aim directed at positive behavior, instead of avoiding vice and avarice, Edwards compels himself to act decisively for the gospel, the kingdom, and God’s glory.

In 2010, please enjoy these resolutions by Jonathan Edwards:

Being sensible that I am unable to do anything without God’s help, I do humbly entreat him by his grace to enable me to keep these Resolutions, so far as they are agreeable to his will, for Christ’s sake.

Remember to read over these Resolutions once a week.

1. Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God’s glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriad’s of ages hence. Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with, how many and how great soever.

2. Resolved, to be continually endeavoring to find out some new invention and contrivance to promote the aforementioned things.

3. Resolved, if ever I shall fall and grow dull, so as to neglect to keep any part of these Resolutions, to repent of all I can remember, when I come to myself again.

4. Resolved, never to do any manner of thing, whether in soul or body, less or more, but what tends to the glory of God; nor be, nor suffer it, if I can avoid it.

5. Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can.

6. Resolved, to live with all my might, while I do live.

7. Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if it were the last hour of my life.

8. Resolved, to act, in all respects, both speaking and doing, as if nobody had been so vile as I, and as if I had committed the same sins, or had the same infirmities or failings as others; and that I will let the knowledge of their failings promote nothing but shame in myself, and prove only an occasion of my confessing my own sins and misery to God.

9. Resolved, to think much on all occasions of my own dying, and of the common circumstances which attend death.

10. Resolved, when I feel pain, to think of the pains of martyrdom, and of hell.

11. Resolved, when I think of any theorem in divinity to be solved, immediately to do what I can towards solving it, if circumstances don’t hinder.

12. Resolved, if I take delight in it as a gratification of pride, or vanity, or on any such account, immediately to throw it by.

13. Resolved, to be endeavoring to find out fit objects of charity and liberality.

14. Resolved, never to do anything out of revenge.

15. Resolved, never to suffer the least motions of anger to irrational beings.

16. Resolved, never to speak evil of anyone, so that it shall tend to his dishonor, more or less, upon no account except for some real good.

17. Resolved, that I will live so as I shall wish I had done when I come to die.

18. Resolved, to live so at all times, as I think is best in my devout frames, and when I have clearest notions of things of the gospel, and another world.

19. Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if I expected it would not be above an hour, before I should hear the last trump.

20. Resolved, to maintain the strictest temperance in eating and drinking.

21. Resolved, never to do anything, which if I should see in another, I should count a just occasion to despise him for, or to think any way the more meanly of him.

22. Resolved, to endeavor to obtain for myself as much happiness, in the other world, as I possibly can, with all the power; might, vigor, and vehemence, yea violence, I am capable of, or can bring myself to exert, in any way that can be thought of.

23. Resolved, frequently to take some deliberate action, which seems most unlikely to be done, for the glory of God, and trace it back to the original intention, designs and ends of it; and if I find it not to be for God’s glory, to repute it as a breach of the 4th Resolution.

24. Resolved, whenever I do any conspicuously evil action, to trace it back, till I come to the original cause; and then both carefully endeavor to do so no more, and to fight and pray with all my might against the original of it.

25. Resolved, to examine carefully, and constantly, what that one thing in me is, which causes me in the least to doubt of the love of God; and to direct all my forces against it.

26. Resolved, to cast away such things, as I find do abate my assurance.

27. Resolved, never willfully to omit anything, except the omission be for the glory of God; and frequently to examine my omissions.

28. Resolved, to study the Scriptures so steadily, constantly and frequently, as that I may find, and plainly perceive myself to grow in the knowledge of the same.

29. Resolved, never to count that a prayer, nor to let that pass as a prayer, nor that as a petition of a prayer, which is so made, that I cannot hope that God will answer it; nor that as a confession, which I cannot hope God will accept.

30. Resolved, to strive to my utmost every week to be brought higher in religion, and to a higher exercise of grace, than I was the week before.

31. Resolved, never to say anything at all against anybody, but when it is

perfectly agreeable to the highest degree of Christian honor, and of love to mankind, agreeable to the lowest humility, and sense of my own faults and failings, and agreeable to the golden rule; often, when I have said anything against anyone, to bring it to, and try it strictly by the test of this Resolution.

32. Resolved, to be strictly and firmly faithful to my trust, that that in Prov. 20:6, “A faithful man who can find?” may not be partly fulfilled in me.

33. Resolved, always to do what I can towards making, maintaining, establishing and preserving peace, when it can be without over-balancing detriment in other respects.

34. Resolved, in narration’s never to speak anything but the pure and simple verity.

35. Resolved, whenever I so much question whether I have done my duty, as that my quiet and calm is thereby disturbed, to set it down, and also how the question was resolved.

36. Resolved, never to speak evil of any, except I have some particular good call for it.

37. Resolved, to inquire every night, as I am going to bed, wherein I have been negligent, what sin I have committed, and wherein I have denied myself: also at the end of every week, month and year.

38. Resolved, never to speak anything that is ridiculous, sportive, or matter of laughter on the Lord’s day.

39. Resolved, never to do anything that I so much question the lawfulness of, as that I intend, at the same time, to consider and examine afterwards, whether it be lawful or no; except I as much question the lawfulness of the omission.

40. Resolved, to inquire every night, before I go to bed, whether I have acted in the best way I possibly could, with respect to eating and drinking.

41. Resolved, to ask myself at the end of every day, week, month and year, wherein I could possibly in any respect have done better.

42. Resolved, frequently to renew the dedication of myself to God, which was made at my baptism; which I solemnly renewed, when I was received into the communion of the church.

43. Resolved, never henceforward, till I die, to act as if I were any way my own, but entirely and altogether God’s, agreeable to what is to be found in

44- Resolved, that no other end but religion, shall have any influence at all on any of my actions; and that no action shall be, in the least circumstance, any otherwise than the religious end will carry it.

45. Resolved, never to allow any pleasure or grief, joy or sorrow, nor any affection at all, nor any degree of affection, nor any circumstance relating to it, but what helps religion.

46. Resolved, never to allow the least measure of any fretting uneasiness at my father or mother. Resolved to suffer no effects of it, so much as in the least alteration of speech, or motion of my eve: and to be especially careful of it, with respect to any of our family.

47. Resolved, to endeavor to my utmost to deny whatever is not most agreeable to a good, and universally sweet and benevolent, quiet, peaceable, contented, easy, compassionate, generous, humble, meek, modest, submissive, obliging, diligent and industrious, charitable, even, patient, moderate, forgiving, sincere temper; and to do at all times what such a temper would lead me to. Examine strictly every week, whether I have done so.

48. Resolved, constantly, with the utmost niceness and diligence, and the strictest scrutiny, to be looking into the state of my soul, that I may know whether I have truly an interest in Christ or no; that when I come to die, I may not have any negligence respecting this to repent of.

49. Resolved, that this never shall be, if I can help it.

50. Resolved, I will act so as I think I shall judge would have been best, and most prudent, when I come into the future world.

51. Resolved, that I will act so, in every respect, as I think I shall wish I had done, if I should at last be damned.

52. I frequently hear persons in old age say how they would live, if they were to live their lives over again: Resolved, that I will live just so as I can think I shall wish I had done, supposing I live to old age.

53. Resolved, to improve every opportunity, when I am in the best and happiest frame of mind, to cast and venture my soul on the Lord Jesus Christ, to trust and confide in him, and consecrate myself wholly to him; that from this I may have assurance of my safety, knowing that I confide in my Redeemer.

54. Whenever I hear anything spoken in conversation of any person, if I think it would be praiseworthy in me, Resolved to endeavor to imitate it.

55. Resolved, to endeavor to my utmost to act as I can think I should do, if I had already seen the happiness of heaven, and hell torments.

56. Resolved, never to give over, nor in the least to slacken my fight with my corruptions, however unsuccessful I may be.

57. Resolved, when I fear misfortunes and adversities, to examine whether ~ have done my duty, and resolve to do it; and let it be just as providence orders it, I will as far as I can, be concerned about nothing but my duty and my sin.

58. Resolved, not only to refrain from an air of dislike, fretfulness, and anger in conversation, but to exhibit an air of love, cheerfulness and benignity.

59. Resolved, when I am most conscious of provocations to ill nature and anger, that I will strive most to feel and act good-naturedly; yea, at such times, to manifest good nature, though I think that in other respects it would be disadvantageous, and so as would be imprudent at other times.

60. Resolved, whenever my feelings begin to appear in the least out of order, when I am conscious of the least uneasiness within, or the least irregularity without, I will then subject myself to the strictest examination.

61. Resolved, that I will not give way to that listlessness which I find unbends and relaxes my mind from being fully and fixedly set on religion, whatever excuse I may have for it-that what my listlessness inclines me to do, is best to be done, etc.

62. Resolved, never to do anything but duty; and then according to Eph. 6:6-8, do it willingly and cheerfully as unto the Lord, and not to man; “knowing that whatever good thing any man doth, the same shall he receive of the Lord.”

63. On the supposition, that there never was to be but one individual in the world, at any one time, who was properly a complete Christian, in all respects of a right stamp, having Christianity always shining in its true luster, and appearing excellent and lovely, from whatever part and under whatever character viewed: Resolved, to act just as I would do, if I strove with all my might to be that one, who should live in my time.

64. Resolved, when I find those “groanings which cannot be uttered” (Rom. 8:26), of which the Apostle speaks, and those “breakings of soul for the longing it hath,” of which the Psalmist speaks, Psalm 119:20, that I will promote them to the utmost of my power, and that I will not be wear’, of earnestly endeavoring to vent my desires, nor of the repetitions of such earnestness.

65. Resolved, very much to exercise myself in this all my life long, viz. with the greatest openness I am capable of, to declare my ways to God, and lay open my soul to him: all my sins, temptations, difficulties, sorrows, fears, hopes, desires, and every thing, and every circumstance; according to Dr. Manton’s 27th Sermon on Psalm 119.

66. Resolved, that I will endeavor always to keep a benign aspect, and air of acting and speaking in all places, and in all companies, except it should so happen that duty requires otherwise.

67. Resolved, after afflictions, to inquire, what I am the better for them, what good I have got by them, and what I might have got by them.

68. Resolved, to confess frankly to myself all that which I find in myself, either infirmity or sin; and, if it be what concerns religion, also to confess the whole case to God, and implore needed help.

69. Resolved, always to do that, which I shall wish I had done when I see others do it.

70. Let there be something of benevolence, in all that I speak.

Here we go again with the deep depression that fixed itself on me like an angry wolverine (animal not X-Man).  This unshakable pain and remorse of everything in the world leads me to a dark place of despair and anguish.  The intense feeling of loneliness and shame coupled with the horror of the world around me, only fuels my hope in nothing.  This is the deepest form of depression – loss of hope.

I have lost all hope and my cares for this world are erasing before my eyes.  When this kind of scrupulous terror besets me.  It carries me to a point of total agony and longing for the world to abruptly end – or at least mine.  Perhaps a fiery car wreck, random gunman, accidental chlorine overdose, or choking on popcorn. All these viable options are solutions to the despair of living in this body.  Sadly, that only would get me deeper in the hole right at the point of death.

The cause of this pain is the very sin itself.  This beating taskmaster keeps haunting me all around.  It is in me, out of me, around me, below, through, above, over, under (and any other preposition you like).  This terrorizing slave owner has me by the throat and commands my obedience.  The world’s irreversible infection of sin disease causes my body, soul, mind, and self to fall and fail with all the filth in which I swim daily.  This world is so broken, there is no where to turn.

If I go out – pain.  If I stay in – horror.  If I talk – arrogance.  If I stay silent – pride.  IT IS ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE TO ESCAPE.  So here comes the sadness.

The final point of the spiral of depression comes with the eyes lifted hoping that in that moment of head-tilting, I will see the clouds and sky tear apart and see the Lord come to make all things new.  I am so tired, worried, anxious, and desperate.  So I anticipate the creator of all to come and destroy this world along with my body of corruption.

This terrible plunge deep into pain causes me to hope and trust in the Lord, and believe that one day (hopefully soon) he will come and make all things new.

Revelation 21.1-5

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.”